As I age, my doctor has begun throwing about terms like colonoscopy and shingles vaccine. The colonoscopy discussion started a couple years ago, before the recommended age for them was lowered, and we agreed I’d do take home tests until I hit the half century mark. The take home alternates to colonoscopies have, I’m sure, more formal names, but are commonly referred to as “shit kits.” I would, my doctor informed me, be sending a sample bowel movement to a laboratory. It’s only getting more detailed from here, so feel free to quit and come back next week for less stinky content.
I was surprised at how small the package was the first time I brought one of the kits home. As it turns out, that particular kit style only wants a small sample… but across multiple days. They provided some sturdy paper to place under yourself (held in place by the toilet seat), wooden sticks to scrape off a sample, and three foldable sample cards which get folded back to closed after you let the sample dry. Ewww, right? An important note is that you need to write your personal information and date on the outside of each card, preferably before adding the sample. Once all three samples have been collected and dried, you drop them into the provided plastic envelope, seal it, slap a stamp on it, and put it with the outgoing mail.
This year’s kit is fancier, a bit closer to what I originally expected – and the test results are supposed to be good for three years. It’s shipped from the testing company and the same box is used to return the sample. There’s a zipped bag inside the box, along with a toilet seat insert, a sealed container for the sample (that fits into the seat insert), a test tube with some liquid in it, and another container with liquid that will be added to the sample. Plus two instruction books: the big one, which includes step-by-step instructions with illustrations (in English & Spanish) and the little one that tells you how to ship the kit back.
The basic process is similar to the previous years: poop, catch it, package it up. Despite the bigger packaging, it’s actually simpler because it’s a single day’s sample and it gets sealed up immediately instead of dried. The little test tube has a stick that comes out and gets a small sample before the other container of liquid gets poured into the main container, and the instructions are clear as to the order everything needs to happen in. Once re-bundled, the company provides a link to schedule the package pick-up, so you don’t even need to leave your house.
If you’re approaching an appropriate age, consider asking your doctor about a take home kit to check for colon cancer. According to the American Cancer Society, there’s been an increase in colon cancer rates, particularly in younger adults, so every opportunity you have for early detection is a good idea.