The Quest (calendar) continues… part 9

Faris sets out on her next great adventure, sent to borrow the wizard Edvarius from neighboring Ironfell. A simple quest, surely.

I bought myself a mule for the trip, figuring it would be useful for the four day journey. I also hit up the job board for a bit more coin, not knowing what I’d find in Ironfell. I tried to help an ill grandmother, but you can’t cure old age. My live performance at a tavern actually fared better, and did spying for a betrayed gnome.

On my way out of town, I bought more rations and health potions, drinking a couple immediately to make up for the excursion into the wizard’s lab. There was no sign of game near the road, though as I sat down to eat some rations, it became apparent why – a bear lumbered into my campsite and lounged across from me. I offered her some of my foot, which she snuffled at before eating, and realized her name was Fola.

Late the next day, I encountered a broken-down wagon with one wheel off. The supposed merchants asked for my help repairing it, but I hesitated, something seemed slightly off about them. Sure enough, they drew weapons and attacked me. I missed one entirely, killed the second with a shot, and reinforced my third short with damage from the wizard’s wand. The unharmed ruffian fled, leaving the wagon and his friends’ corpses. Their weapons were in terrible condition, but they had some gold and a Wanted poster of themselves. I suppose I can claim that reward. Having cleared the area, I decided it was a good place to stop for the night.

I arrived in Ironfell and took a quick stroll around town before seeking the wizard. The herbalist mentioned being out of potions and low on ingredients because boaters kept buying her out. That may be partially because the Beacon, a light in the middle of the river, is fairly dim. As I walked along the river, I tried talking to some other residents. A fisherman flat out ignored me, though I noted his catch seemed small and generally unhealthy. The ferryman was more forthcoming, said they haven’t gotten much work because of the raids, and the people to the south blame them for the mysterious poisoning of the river. A porter bought one of my health potions, rambling about rodents shooting at him last time he went north, and expressed concerns about giants that direction now.

Thoughts on The Grey Bastards

I’m not actually sure when this review posted (found it… May 4, 2018), it was written for Booklist, and I had referenced it back in 2018 on this post. I have since read the sequel to The Grey Bastards, and am looking forward to subsequent novels by Jonathan French.

Jackal is a Grey Bastard, one of several brotherhoods of half-orcs committed to defending the no-man zone between human civilization and the invading bands of orcs.  At least, that’s what Jackal and most of the half-orcs believe they’re doing.  Jonathan French turns fantasy on its head by featuring half-orcs as the unlikely heroes of his story, awkwardly sandwiched between their orc and human progenitors.  Further complicating matters in Ul-wundulas, or the Lot Lands, are the presence of isolationist elves, homicidal centaurs, and a group of halfings who are religious zealots working towards the return of their god.  The ugly secrets, betrayals, and twists in this book keep the pages turning as Jackal and his friends discover and fight back against the dark magics and conspiracies involved.  Between the lies they’ve been fed and the isolation between the various races, Jackal begins the book with little real knowledge of the world’s problems and his hoof’s place in fixing or causing them.  By the surprising conclusion, he’ll have answers that lead to more questions, and ultimately to a sequel. 

The Quest (calendar) continues… part 8

It has been a while since an update. Rest assured, the adventures of Faris Leafwind continue with some amazingly poor dice rolls, and the occasional good one.

Hoping it would lead to more work, I met with Fellmont immediately. He believed all of the weirdness was related to the wizard Godwin’s disappearance and asked me to help investigate. I agreed, of course, with some misgivings over Victor’s previous statement that the wizard was a traitor, a belief his father and Commander Rufus didn’t seem to share.

Fellmont directed me to the wizard’s lab, to see if I could spot any clues he had missed. arriving there, I bumped an experiment on his desk, splashing acid on myself. I tucked away a health potion from the bookshelf, planning to heal the damage later. I slid a book from the shelf and heard a click as a secret door, covered in runes, opened. I was unable to read the runes and the door shocked me. It shocked me again when I tried to bypass the magic lock. The door was seriously kicking my butt, I couldn’t even force it open. I paused to drink the health potion I had found, then smashed the door open.

I stared in shock at a cracked dragon egg in the middle of the secret room. I stepped closer to look at it and flames erupted from the ground, singeing my clothes. I chugged my last health potion before moving in when the flames died down. The egg was filled with that shimmering black ooze I had seen at the church. I grabbed a nearby vial and carefully let some drip in without touching it. As I finished, some of it tried to move towards me… ewww.

I also found a locked chest, and luckily, I found the key hanging on the door frame. There were a couple potions and some gold hidden away. I stowed them in my bag, along with a wooden wand with a thread of gold, and returned with the information to Fellmont. Together we shared it with his father, Lord Rowan Fellmont. While dubious, he thought it best to send me questing for Edvarius, Ironfell’s court wizard. I met with Rufus again to negotiate the terms. We agreed to twenty gold on delivery, with four paid in advance for preparations.

Set of mini green RPG dice in a blue dice tray

Seriously, this brief excursion into the wizard’s chamber kicked my butt! That was mainly due to unfortunately low dice rolls. Hopefully those will gradually improve, along with my skills as I level up.

Filk: Little Jedi Boy

According to Wikipedia, “Filk has been defined as folk music, usually with a science fiction or fantasy theme, but this definition is not exact. So-called filkers have been known to write filk songs about a variety of topics, including tangentially related topics such as computers and cats. In addition, while the majority of filk songs are in the folk style, other styles such as blues, calypso, and even rock appear from time to time.”

I actually attended my first filk circle in 1998, the first time I went to DragonCon. And didn’t attend another one – though I did go to some filk concerts – until this past year, which of course were via Zoom. That combined with watching The Mandalorian resulted in this song, Little Jedi Boy, to the tune (not surprisingly) of Little Drummer Boy. You can listen to it here, or sing along with the lyrics (provided as an image and as text):

Little Jedi Boy lyrics with background picture
Come, they told me (pa-rum pum pum pum)
Our finest bounty here (pa-rum pum pum pum)
We’ll pay a beskar crate (pa-rum pum pum pum)
For just this one green child. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
(Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum)
So to capture him (pa-rum pum pum pum) 
When we come.
 
Baby Jedi, (pa-rum pum pum pum)
You are too cute to kill. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
So I’ll just shoot this droid. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
But Jawas stripped my ship. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
(Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum)
Now we’ll quest for them (pa-rum pum pum pum)
For their lunch. 
 
The baby saved me. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
Now the damn Imps have him. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
I changed my mind for him. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
I left the Guild for him. (pa-rum pum pum pum)
(Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum)
Then He smiled at me (pa-rum pum pum pum)
Me and my gun.