Learn your house’s normal

“Merry Christmas!” said the pipe under my sink. “I’m all rusty and don’t feel like holding water in anymore. Were you planning to clean the kitchen floor on Christmas Day?”

Pipe under my kitchen sink clearly showing some rust.

So, yeah, that happened. I had just finished washing dishes after making eggnog pancakes and a side of bacon for Christmas morning when I realized I could still hear water running, other than the cats’ water fountain in the room. I doublechecked that I hadn’t somehow started the dishwasher, then opened the cabinet doors to look under the sink. That resulted in water spurting at a diagonal across the room while I scrambled to pull things out from under the sink – in addition to obvious thinks like the dishwasher soap (which really shouldn’t get wet until you’re ready to use it!), our collection of Ziploc bags in their now-slightly soggy boxes were under there.

Then I tried turning every valve I found under the sink, hoping one of them would actually affect the water pressure. No luck. I wrapped a rag around the leak, preventing it from leaving the cabinet at least, and looked behind the pipe, just in case. I vaguely remembered one of the workers over the summer – I think the one who replaced our water softener – showing me the water shut-off for the entire house. That worked… except I didn’t realize it because there was still water in the pipes that needed to be drained. It took a couple emergency runs from family members before I realized the draining part. The photo above was taken at a point when the water was off and drained. The actual fix took a professional about 30 minutes the next day.

But “my pipe rusted through and leaked” isn’t the title of this post. I noticed the problem as soon as it started because I know what the normal house sounds are. Right now, I can hear the cats’ fountain, the hum from the vents, and the sounds of the furnace running in the garage (it’s just through the wall I’m facing). Two weeks ago, when a light switch broke, I knew that switching off the breaker that affected part of that switch (it’s a weird kitchen & garage switch) would turn off all of the kitchen lights, even though the kitchen is on two different breakers and some of the lights are on the other side of the room. That’s part of our house’s “normal.”

It’s similar to identifying a problem with your car because it doesn’t sound or feel right… normal is what you’re used to, and it can help you identify problems before they become worse. Particularly with a house, it will take a bit of time to identify what counts as normal, but it’s worth learning. If I hadn’t noticed the problem as soon as it happened, I would have been dealing with a lot more water where it didn’t belong. For those times when something isn’t normal, it’s useful to have information handy for companies that handle plumbing, appliance, and electrical problems, and a general handyman, so you’re ready for any issue that arises.

And now you’re on a jury.

As the prosecution reminded – and verified – with each potential juror during the panel process, this isn’t like the media portrays a trial. To be fair, the jury part may be – that’s not usually the focus – but the trial I sat through as a juror was devoid of the theatrics you expect to see on screen.

As each group of four was empaneled, they were sent to the jury deliberation room, and given a notebook and pen for use during the trial. (All notes are disposed of afterwards.) I was near the end of the selection process, so only sat for a short while in the deliberation room while the two alternates were selected. Except for during deliberation, the time in the deliberation room was mostly sit and wait, wondering when we’d be summoned back to the courtroom.

The trial process started as soon as the entire jury was selected, with the bailiff instructing us on the process: we lined up in a particular order based on when in the process we were selected, written on the white board for the first couple days; the bailiff asked everyone to stand while the jury entered; the back row of the jury box entered first and everyone remained standing until the bailiff announced that everyone could sit down. (Amusingly, he consistently made that announcement when the front row alternate had just set foot in the jury box; she usually wasn’t in front of her chair yet.)

Before the trial started and at the end of each day, the judge told the jury not to seek out any information relating to this trial online or in the news. Each morning, he verified that none of us had deliberately or accidentally been exposed to related information. This is an important point in each trial, as the jury’s decision is based only on the evidence presented by the prosecution and defense.

The prosecution and then the defense presented their opening statements to the jury, then rolled right into calling the prosecution’s witnesses. It’s important to note that the opening and closing statements do not constitute evidence; these are the prosecution and defense attorneys’ summaries and opinions. I think this is one of the key spots that media highlights in on screen trials, for the impassioned presentation, even though it’s less important that the witness testimony.

At the end of each day, the judge stopped the questioning and released everyone with a specific time to return the next morning. In the deliberation room, the bailiff then clarified that we should arrive 30 minutes prior to that, gathering in the jury room so we could come upstairs, set our personal belongings in the deliberation room, and reclaim our notepads (they never leave the building). We were escorted outside by an officer to avoid any accidental interactions with the defendant, witnesses, or the attorneys.

When we arrived on the second day, we were given a sheet to submit our lunch order; lunches would be served in the jury (as opposed to the deliberation) room each day unless we were deliberating at lunch time. For our trial, the prosecution witnesses were called on the second day, with the defense attorney cross-examining each one as needed, and the prosecution asking follow-up questions. The defense witnesses were called on the morning of the third day, reversing the process with the prosecution cross-examining. That afternoon, rebuttal witnesses were called and questioned, again with the prosecution calling their witnesses first.

On the fourth and final days, the jury walked into a full courtroom – all of the witnesses were now allowed in the audience – and heard the closing statements. We first listened to one of the prosecuting attorneys, who walked through the jury instructions, spelling out each charge and emphasizing which part of the testimony supported that charge. The defense attorney presented his closing statement, followed by a rebuttal closing statement from the other prosecuting attorney. After additional instructions from the judge (among other things, reminding us that opening and closing statements were opinion rather than evidence) and the swearing in of our bailiff, we adjourned to the deliberation room and began discussing the details – the first time we were allowed to talk about it to anyone, even among the jury – while waiting for our lunch. Our first order of business was to turn in all of our devices – our phones were allowed in the deliberation room during breaks, but not during the actual deliberation process. Then we needed to select a foreperson, who got to sort through the jury instructions and organize our deliberation process.

One interesting aspect of the jury process is that the jury is presented with two sheets of paper for each charge: one that specifies “guilty” and one “not guilty”. It’s fancier than that, of course, something like “We the jury find the defendant guilty/not guilty of [insert charge here]”, with a specific line for the foreperson to sign and lines for the other eleven jurors’ signatures.

We did not rush our process. Using the whiteboard and some paper taped to the wall (it was a small whiteboard), we summarized overall impressions of each witness and their reliability before we ever discussed the charges. We started with anonymous voting on sets of charges (there were appropriate groupings that made sense) – a guilty/not guilty vote written on a piece of paper, then read out all together to see if there were any differing opinions. We discussed the differing opinions at length, clarifying questions from our notes, then ended up tabling the issue and coming back to that particular set of charges near the end. After the first discussion, we found we were all willing to voice our opinions in that particular group and dispensed with the slower anonymous method. Each juror signed each appropriate verdict sheet for every charges as we reached a consensus on them.

Eventually we reached a consensus on all of the charges and summoned the bailiff by turning the button near the door. The bailiff then notified the judge, who summoned everyone back to the courtroom before admitting the jury. The foreperson carried the envelope with the signed and unsigned sheets with the charges. When requested by the judge, the foreperson handed that envelope to the bailiff, who passed it to the judge. The judge reviewed the sheets, did some rearranging, then handed them to the clerk to read each signed verdict sheet out loud. After all of the sheets were read, at the defense attorney’s request, the jury was polled – calling out each juror number – to confirm that we each agreed with the reported verdict.

And then we were done. The bailiff escorted the jury back to the deliberation room, we piled any pages that had been used in the notepads for their destruction, and waited while our electronic devices were retrieved. We were again escorted outside by an officer, released from further jury duty obligations for at least a year.

A handful of book recommendations

I’ve been participating in Goodreads’s reading challenge for a few years now. My goal isn’t overly ambitious (for me), I’m aiming to average one book a week. I’m ahead for the year, since I’m at 48 of 52 books at the moment, and that may be 49 by tomorrow.

I had a gap last month between review books and picked through some books that had already been added to my Kindle at some nebulous point in the past, so this short list of recent recommendations may include both older books and the occasional something that’s not science fiction or fantasy. My criteria for this list is books I’ve read since August that I gave a 5-star rating on Goodreads to.

American War by Omar El Akkad
This one’s historical fiction about a second American Civil War. What makes it creepy – and effective – is that it shows how the protagonist is radicalized through deliberate decisions made by her mentor.

Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha
An ancient dragon god marries the mortal ruler’s heir every century, and finally meets his match. But she’s adopted and considered so disposable that the ruler had her cursed unless she and her handmaid assassinate the Dragon. This steamy fantasy story does an amazing job at world- and character-building.

Daughters of the Night Sky by Aimie K. Runyan
Historical fiction about the Soviet “Night Witches” who terrorized Germany during World War II.  I probably picked it up because of Cheshire Moon’s song, Nachthexen. (https://cheshiremoon.bandcamp.com/track/nachthexen-2)

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire
This is the first of McGuire’s Wayward Children series, and having read it, I wonder how I had somehow bypassed her work until this point, especially knowing so many of my friends are fans.  I will definitely be partaking of more of her delightful writing.

Goodnight, Sweet Princess by Jason Janes
This novella was published by a friend in 2015. The compressed murder mystery takes place at a Renaissance Faire which Chicago area fans will almost certainly equate with Bristol. 

The Memories Between Us by Karen Peck
Another book written by a friend, this is a time travel and parallel universes romance as the protagonist desperately searches for a way to re-encounter his deceased wife.  

The Shadow Baron by Davinia Evans
I was delighted with the first book in The Burnished City series, Notorious Sorcerer, when I read it last year, and was equally excited about the sequel. 

The Star-Crossed Pelican by Laura Ruth Loomis
This hilarious book takes science fiction lightly with an oversized heap of drama including a “peace-keeping” weapon that forces people to relive their most embarrassing moments. 

Cats and hairballs

Living with four cats, it’s not surprising that I have to periodically deal with hairballs. None of our are considered long-haired, though Diane and June do have slightly longer fur than Arwen and Zuko. Hairballs are part of their natural process since they constantly swallow fur, June more than the rest because she frequently bathes the other cats. Rest assured, there are no photos included on this post.

With only two carpeted rooms, unless the cat is on furniture, we mostly stand back and wait for the hairball process to be finished so we can clean it up. Well, to be honest, I mostly lay in bed, listening for the general location and assessing which cat is providing the hairball. For some reason, they mostly happen in the early morning hours. This is actually preferred, since it means they’re at the furthest point in the day from having eaten and the content is not likely to include food.

The listening phase is pretty important (if I can’t see it happening) as each cat has a different hairball style. Yes, really! Zuko seems surprised, leaving just a small spot, whereas June usually has more water with hers. The more distinctive ones that I have to watch out for are Diane and Arwen. Diane always produces two spots, the second one just a smaller follow-up to the main event, usually within a couple feet. Arwen… well, she’s unique, I have never seen a cat hairball quite like her. Where the other cats stay still for the process, Arwen actively backs away from what she’s producing, almost as if saying “What is this and why is it coming out of me?”

Needless to say, this affects my morning routine. I consider my room and bathroom to be safe zones – I generally wake up to that sort of noise in my room. I don’t step foot in the hall until I’ve turned on that light and checked the floor. I flip on the spare bedroom light to check that floor, though to be fair, most of that floor is currently being used as a storage area. At the other end of the hall, I assess the few paces between the hall and dining room light switches, looking for that reflected light glistening off liquid before I turn off the hall light. Taking as few steps as possible, I turn on the dining room light. It’s not that there are hairballs that often, I just don’t like finding them with my bare feet.

Appreciating my talented friends

We attended the Bristol Renaissance Faire over the weekend, which is always delightful… once we managed to get there, after spending an hour between the highway exit and the parking. If you plan well, the food line you stand in for too long will be near a show, or near an empty stage so you can sit down and catch the next show right after you eat. (That’s how we found a new act this year.) We also caught part of a Cirque du Sewer show and found great seats for one of Dirk & Guido’s shows.

But those aren’t the talented friends I want to talk about. Not that they aren’t talented, just that I don’t actually know the performers. I want to talk about the delightful creations available at the Bast’s Garden Menagerie, around the corner from the second set of real bathrooms.

When I began attending conventions in Chicagoland, these lovely ladies were almost always present with their adjustable shoulder dragons, winged plush, and beautiful, mostly anthropomorphic, drawings. We have some of all of those in our house.

In more recent years, they began experimenting with polymer clay, creating delightful dragons and cat versions of weeping angels. Then they started playing with their food, which inspired me to sing Cthulhu Sleeps Tonight.

Until this week, I didn’t own any of their amazing food sculptures. When I saw Nessie on Instagram last week, I hoped she would still be available when we made it to their booth. Looking at the bowl, a tiny blue and white Loch Ness monster is sitting in a bowl of soup, with corn, celery, carrots, and noodles around her. Nessie and every one of those food items is handmade, down to the crinkle cuts in the carrots. The opossum on the edge of the bowl is also one of their wearable creations – a pin combining polymer clay and fake fur.

If you can’t visit Bristol or one of the other faires or conventions they attend, you can find their amazing creations on Etsy here and here during the off season. Why not take home a bowl of ramen you’ll never eat or a squid-filled cup of tea?

Normalize discussing health with your family

Earlier this year, I reached out to my mother asking her to document any health issues she or my father had experienced over the years. I probably should have asked for that information half a lifetime ago, when I moved out on my own, but as I age, it seems more relevant to know what I might be dealing with in the future. We already knew that my maternal grandmother had Alzheimer’s and my father had multiple strokes near the end of his life, but I wanted to know if there were other things we should watch out for (or should have, in some cases).

For example, my parents both developed different shellfish allergies as they aged, with different effects; I knew that already when I reacted badly to crayfish a couple years ago. I didn’t realize that my mother has high cholesterol, though I’m sure my doctor would have liked to know that. (Those medical office intake questionnaires need to add “not that anybody’s told me” as an answer on the family history questions.)

I didn’t learn until this year that my mother had “very heavy long periods” before having a hysterectomy when I was rather young. I did point out that it would have been useful to know that before we hit puberty, or before our girls did. Then I found out she defined “long” as a week, which prompted a discussion with some female friends as to what is considered normal, since before perimenopause, when I wasn’t on birth control, my periods ran a full seven days like clockwork.

Of greater concern is the question of whether my father had memory issues as he aged, or whether he was just not listening. Unfortunately, that doesn’t appear to have been documented or addressed with a doctor, so I’m not sure whether it’s something I have to watch out for. Or have somebody else watch out for, since I’d likely forget in that case.

Have you completed a Side Quest today?

What’s a Side Quest, you ask? Well, it’s anything above and beyond your day-to-day necessities. Or maybe week-to-week necessities. Let’s be honest, they’re your Side Quests, so you have control over what goes on the list.

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t my idea. I saw an ad on Facebook for several days about Side Quest cards – a way to randomize chores you might not otherwise get to. Of course, when I went to look for them again all I found were litter box ads, and had no luck finding them through Google. I did, however, find this amusing article about a woman who gamified a chore list for her spouse.

How do I differentiate my Side Quests from my chores? I’ve defined as chores anything I do routinely on a schedule – cooking, changing the litter boxes, washing dishes, even the weekly laundry load. Those are always going to get done, and typically have a deadline of some sort, such as when I’m hungry or before I run out of clean underwear. (Putting laundry away though… that might be a Side Quest.)

Last Saturday, I completed several Side Quests and realized that some Side Quests are single tasks and others are a collection of tasks. Dropping donations off at Goodwill was a single task (creating the donations pile was more like a Quest though, and not entirely my own), but repairing the kitchen bookcase entailed multiple steps: empty bookcase, repair bookcase, wash the placemats and napkins that had been gathering dust on the bookcase, and repopulating the bookcase. (No, not with the cat, please don’t bump the wood while the glue is drying.)

The Side Quest I completed today was a detour when I went grocery shopping, to pick up carrot cupcakes at Smallcakes in celebration of what would have been my Dad’s 95th birthday. I realize they won’t be quite the same as the carrot cakes we used to get him at La Cenicienta, but the commute’s a bit far for that.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) can affect your health

I recently had lunch with one of my favorite people and she told me about a TED talk titled “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime,” available on YouTube. I’m not sure I’ve ever watched a TED talk before; I generally prefer to read information. But after our lunch, I asked her to send me the link so I could watch it. The doctor presenting delves into how exposure to adversity affects the developing brains of children, and her colleague’s discovery of a study on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

In the study conducted, they found “that 67% of population had at least 1 ACE, and 12.6% (1 in 8) had 4 or more”. They also noticed a correlation between ACEs and several common medical conditions, regardless of whether people engaged in behavior that’s commonly believed to cause some of those diseases. There’s science that I won’t even try to explain – that’s why the TED talk is presented by a doctor, not an IT person.

A couple weeks later, I stumbled onto a similar discussion on Twitter, including a link to this ACE quiz. By both accounts, this is something doctors should be taking into account as they diagnose and treat patients.

My primary thought beyond the effect these experiences have on people in my age group is that, knowing this, it’s now the responsibility of the older generations to do everything possible to reduce the ACE scores of the next generations. We have an obligation to make the world a better place for our descendants.

Discovering the right exercise game

People have been making exercise games for centuries, frequently referred to as “sports”. As we moved away from hunter/gatherer societies, the skills that were once essential eventually became entertainment, frequently with a competitive edge. For those of us not making a living from sports, our more sedentary lifestyles necessitates seeking out fitness opportunities, whether at a gym, a dojang, online workouts, or virtual walking challenges (which can be stacked with Pokemon Go or similar games)… we are fortunate to have so many options.

A couple months ago, a friend mentioned the Oculus Quest 2, a virtual reality headset, and I had absolutely no interest in it… until a couple weeks later, when a co-worker regaled us with tales of his weekly virtual reality boxing matches. As it happens, that weekend I was shopping at Costco and realized they sell the system, and it was something I could use my annual credit card rebate (which is tied to my Costco membership) towards.

It’s essentially a gaming console, and priced accordingly, so it wasn’t something I wanted to buy without trying it. I reached out to the friend who initially mentioned the system and invited myself over to try it. His system is set up to cast to his television, so I was able to watch what he was doing, and then work through the First Steps app that trains users on the Oculus. He didn’t have a boxing app that worked (the one that was installed wanted a subscription), but he introduced me to Beat Saber.

Waving my arms around wildly with a virtual reality headset

I can’t begin to tell you how dangerously addictive Beat Saber is. The basic solo game has you holding two lightsabers – different colors – and slicing “notes” that come towards you as the song plays. Most notes have arrows indicating which direction you need to slice them, and all of them match the color of one of your sabers; it counts as a miss if you slice with the wrong color or in the wrong direction. There are also blocks that you need to avoid by stepping to a side or ducking, so you’re constantly moving and hoping the cats don’t pick that moment to walk between your feet. And bombs… just don’t touch those at all.

In addition to the albums included with the app purchases, Beat Saber has additional songs and albums that can be purchased, including partnering with some big names like Lady Gaga and Imagine Dragons. Songs can be purchased individually or at a discount album price. I haven’t reached that point yet, as I’m still playing with the various difficulty settings and optional features like the smaller notes and 360 degree play.

I also installed the boxing game my coworker recommended, along with a perennial favorite, Fruit Ninja, and while they’re fun, Beat Saber holds my attention more while giving me a good workout.