Frances and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

Saturday started like any other day: I woke well before my alarm with four cats on the bed, and still got up early enough to shower before feeding them. After feeding them, I made myself breakfast, then went for a walk, planting Pokemon in several nearby gyms. I hung my laundry on the side patio, and decided to move my awesome new minion rain barrel to middle of the mulched area. I realize, it’s not a practical spot for a rain barrel, but I get to see it out the window every day.

I decided I should pull the trellis over to support the honeydew that volunteered by the radishes. I noted when I pulled it off the mulch that the indoor planter, emptied of plants and stored upside-down by the shed, had been resting slightly on it. I picked its placement and opened the shed for a digging tool, to better push in the supports. I then dangled some honeydew vines over the trellis (adding insult to injury, these need to be re-hung), pulled a weed, and put the tool back in the shed.

Carrying the weed still, I was walking towards the side door when the first yellow jacket stung. Thinking it a mere wasp, knowing there was a wasp nest further out in the yard that I’ve been dealing with, I made a brushing motion towards my right shoulder and said “wasp.” The second sting hit my left leg, at which point, the cursing began. I swung my hand that direction and glanced at my right shoulder, noticing a yellow jacket attached to my black t-shirt.

Moving faster now, I flipped open one of the compost bins, dumping the weed I was carrying into it. Standing outside the side door, I brushed off the various spots that had been stung and shook out my hair, in case any of the beasts was hiding in there. I stepped into the garage and felt another sting on my shoulder. Imagine, if you will, a pixie only as tall as your thumbnail jamming a tiny poisoned dagger – repeatedly – into your skin. I stripped off my shirt and dropped it on the floor, searching for the miniscule monster that was causing my pain. Unable to find it, I shook out my shirt and fled into the house, rushing into the hall bathroom before pulling off my shorts and checking them for any intruders.

For some reason, Cassandra, who had just woken up, was looking at me weird.

Having confirmed that none of the yellow jackets were in the house with us, I addressed my injuries and prepared Cassandra’s breakfast. I stepped out to the garage again during that preparation and realized the last – and presumably first – yellow jacket was trapped in there. With Zuko’s help, might flying insect hunter that he is, I found the offending creature and smashed it with shoe in hand against the window screen.

As I wavered on going to the farmers’ market – for bread (again) – I remembered the company, Clean Pest Solutions, that dealt with our ant problem a couple years ago. I couldn’t tell from their website whether they would handle yellow jackets, so I submitted a quick note on their contact form and headed out to do my shopping. I might have been five minutes from the house when they called me back.

Yes, they could handle yellow jackets. Their next available date was Monday… was that OK? They could send someone out with a bee suit to address the issue, along with some preventative measures around the house.

I showed the gentleman where the issue was likely to be (I was right!), confirmed that there was a shovel in the shed, then retreated indoors as he geared up the bee suit and filled his tank from the front hose. Then I stood in the bay window as he pulled my indoor planter away from the shed, dug into the dirt with the shovel, then retreated – a couple times, once all the way to the front yard – before he began spraying the area. Eventually, he dug out the nest and carried it over to the window where Zuko and I were watching, before disposing of it. (Zuko was trying to hunt all the flying insects outside the window.)

After finishing and shedding his bee suit, I was told to leave the area alone for 48 hours – including leaving the shed, which he sprayed inside and around, open. This was apparently the most aggressive nest he’d encountered, making me grateful that I’d hired someone to deal with it.

If you’ve never dealt with yellow jacket stings before, they start small and spread out over time. The near circle on my left leg was about 2 inches each direction Monday morning; by the afternoon, it was 3 by 4 inches, still somewhat rounded. It seems to be the worst one, though I don’t know if that’s due to location or if I was stung there more than elsewhere. I recommend putting yellow jacket interactions in the “don’t try this at home” category.

Two and a half days later, I ventured out before dawn in a light rain, illuminating my path with a headlamp. I cautiously approached the shed – open these past two days – looking inside for any buzzing creatures or the beginnings of a new nest. Having spotted none, I peer in, shining my light on the other half of the shed and moved a couple items they could have hidden under. Satisfied to find no signs of yellow jacket life in my shed, I secured both doors, wondering where the lock was. (I was able to spot it from the bay window – it’s on top of the shed, which will require a step stool for retrieval.) I’ll have to keep an eye out for new nests, and I’ll store the empty planter in the garage once it’s fully rinsed of both the yellow jacket carcasses and stuff that killed them.